I wonder if I could move away, remove any memory of my life that is causing this pain if it would work?
This is just so hard … how do people get through? Continue on with life? Please help me Lord!!!

Starting the second year of Matthew's death. I've been told the 2nd year is one of the hardest...funny, I've never asked why - maybe I'm afraid of finding out why...
 Today I was cleaning out stuff from under my bed. I found the box I had placed Matthew's things from his backpack. I was reading through some of the things he had wrote. It made me cry. To see his handwriting, his thoughts, his plans and goals. It made me miss my son!
 I had to cover the box back up and put it back under my bed. Today, my heart aches.

A Week of New Beginnings

Facing my fears...

This is my first post...I will write more about the events that has led me to start this blog but for today I wanted to write about...
Facing one of my fears - driving in snow.

For anyone that has known me...if it's white out (snow or any trace of snow) I don't go out. You think living in Colorado and having a 4 wheel drive I'd be ok to do this. But sad to say...I'm a big chicken!!!

 So...looking outside my sliding glass door, with fear ripping through my heart. I was to be meeting a friend for lunch. The though was "do I go out (possibly wrecking my car) and have a wonderful lunch or do I stay at home (again) because I'm afraid?

 Well...I said "I'm tired of being afraid and if I do damage on my car I guess I need to call AAA" (since I've had their service and luckily have never had to use it).

 I went...and happy to say...lunch with my friend was wonderful and I made it home just fine. I'm even going back out AGAIN!!!! Call me crazy!!!!

 I'm thankful that I faced that fear (will still be cautious) but that's one thing I can put down as having done! My life is going to be many new things I have to face alone... and today I just proved to myself that I can do this.

One down...many more to go.